How about, "I find your wife/daughter/mother really attractive?" Bad things can happen if you tell people what you think.
It's important to be precise when giving public social advice, because the people that could benefit from it the most don't know how to tease out hidden subtleties (that seem obvious to everyone else). If what you really mean is, "nothing bad will happen if you just tell people what you think and have at least roughly average social skills" you should just say the whole thing.
Check back with us in a dozen years and tell us how many relationships you have destroyed. Somewhere in Ecclesiastes is the verse "There is a time to speak, and a time to keep silent." I don't think you have to be devoted to the Bible to agree with that one.
It's a practice truly strange to tell people exactly how you feel or exactly what is on your mind; however, it definitely leads to some truly sincere compliments.
No no no no. Absolutely not. Not, especially if its positive. Generally, only if its positive. I'm a slightly cynical person, so if I told people everything I thought, I'd probably be out of friends by now.
Perhaps all of the people who now are your friends might no longer be you friends, but your new habit could've brought you new friends who respect you for your candor, even if it is slightly cynical.
I have one friend who tells everyone what she thinks with no apparent filter.
Besides me, she has maybe two or three other people who like her company.
Nor are her opinions that noxious--usually she just says out loud very blunt versions of what half of the people are thinking. But you can easily imagine personalities with an even lower batting average.
It's why alcohol makes social stuff easier - lowered inhibitions.
It is only an illusion that it is "easier". It makes you feel better simply because it removes the ability to recognize the negatives of your actions.
As to the advice that nothing bad will happen, that's dangerous advice. Tell coworkers what you think and you'll quickly find yourself without a job or worse. Tell strangers and you're on a short ride to fights, pariah status, etc.
> Tell coworkers what you think and you'll quickly find yourself without a job or worse. Tell strangers and you're on a short ride to fights, pariah status, etc.
> Confess to your boss your secret plans to start your own company. If you're having fantasies about your wife's sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister. It's the only path to authentic relationships. It's the only way to smash through modernity's soul-deadening alienation. Oversharing? No such thing.
Yes. I know. One of the most idiotic ideas ever, right up there with Vanilla Coke and giving Phil Spector a gun permit. Deceit makes our world go round. Without lies, marriages would crumble, workers would be fired, egos would be shattered, governments would collapse.
And yet...maybe there's something to it. Especially for me...
When I get home, I keep the momentum going. I call a friend to say that I fantasize about his wife. (He says he likes my wife, too, and suggests a key party.)
I inform our twenty-seven-year-old nanny that "if my wife left me, I would ask you out on a date, because I think you are stunning."
I assume that, in your radical honesty, you also told your wife about how you fantasize about your friend's wife. I also assume that you honestly relayed the look on the nanny's face when you hit on her.
After all, there's nothing radical about being honest only when it's convenient.
It's why alcohol makes social stuff easier - lowered inhibitions.
Remember nothing bad will happen if you just tell people what you think. Especially if it's positive. I promise. It won't be weird.
In fact, I've gone so far as making this a daily habit: http://swizec.com/blog/can-you-pay-one-compliment-to-one-str...